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View Full Version : Gallbladders, who needs 'em?


Bill Hirst
August 16th, 2005, 10:05 PM
As of today, (Tuesday), Sue's still in the hospital. The operation went fine, with no more than the usual pain from four little incisions. By Friday, two days post-op, she was eating solid food and ready to go home. Then, for some unknown reason, she started getting a fever, then nausea and loss of appetite. The white cell count was normal, there's no significant pain, and the incisions look perfectly healthy. So what is it? Nobody knows, so more tests are ordered. Blood cultures, X-rays, a CT scan, and there's nothing unusual. Sue's temperature goes up to 102.4 one midnight, down the next day, and up to 103.9 the next night. Eventually she starts feeling better and her temp is now running 99 to 100. So maybe she'll get to come home tomorrow if things stay ok and she's eating well.

Judy G. Russell
August 16th, 2005, 10:29 PM
Oh dear... I am sooooo sorry Sue is having these complications. These days this should be a very simple procedure practically on an out-patient basis. But Sue is now the second person of heard of recently who ended up with a lot more trouble than you'd expect. (Ask Toni Savage about trouble with gallbladders!)

Hope everything settles down and she's home, and healing, soon!

Lindsey
August 16th, 2005, 11:34 PM
But Sue is now the second person of heard of recently who ended up with a lot more trouble than you'd expect. (Ask Toni Savage about trouble with gallbladders!)
Oh, dear! I think I'll hang onto mine for as long as I possibly can...

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 16th, 2005, 11:59 PM
You don't really need a gallbladder. It's just that getting rid of one that isn't working seems to be a bit problematic.

Lindsey
August 17th, 2005, 06:31 PM
You don't really need a gallbladder. It's just that getting rid of one that isn't working seems to be a bit problematic.
Precisely! Mine mostly behaves itself. It's just once in a blue moon that it decides to remind me that it is still there, and it usually amounts to one sleepless night, and that's the end of it for a long while. I can live with that.

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 17th, 2005, 06:57 PM
With luck that's all you'll have -- the once in a while problem. But if it gets worse, just make sure you act on it before it gets to the "look, doc, either you take it out or I'm taking it out -- with a kitchen knife" stage.

Lindsey
August 17th, 2005, 11:09 PM
With luck that's all you'll have -- the once in a while problem. But if it gets worse, just make sure you act on it before it gets to the "look, doc, either you take it out or I'm taking it out -- with a kitchen knife" stage.
My wonderfully cheerful doctor tells me that it always gets worse. But unless it gets a lot worse than it is right now, I'm fine with it.

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 17th, 2005, 11:27 PM
My wonderfully cheerful doctor tells me that it always gets worse.
Unfortunately, your doctor is probably right.

Lindsey
August 18th, 2005, 09:29 PM
Unfortunately, your doctor is probably right.
I'm sure he is. :(

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 18th, 2005, 09:47 PM
:( indeed. I have to say, of all the things I've had wrong with me over the years, the one that really truly hurt the most was that #$%@# gallbladder. Of course, it didn't help that I thought at the time it was probably an incipient ulcer due to some major stress I was under and that I was self-"medicating" with things like cream soups and ice cream... exactly the wrong things if you have gallbladder problems...

Lindsey
August 18th, 2005, 11:31 PM
I have to say, of all the things I've had wrong with me over the years, the one that really truly hurt the most was that #$%@# gallbladder.
I don't doubt that; it can be a terrible pain, and part of what makes it so bad is that there is just no way you can sit, stand, or lie that gives you any relief at all. If I'm lucky enough to catch an attack early on, though, I can often damp it down enough with an extra-strength dose of aspirin that I can get to sleep, and if I once get to sleep, almost always by the time I wake up again, the pain is gone. I sometimes wonder if the aspirin works as much for its anti-inflammation properties as for its analgesic ones. Doesn't work very well if I wait too long to take it, though.

I have to say, I think a kidney stone is worse, though. Fortunately, I've only had that experience twice, and the last one was a very long time ago.

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 19th, 2005, 12:22 PM
I have to say, I think a kidney stone is worse, though. Fortunately, I've only had that experience twice, and the last one was a very long time ago.
Yeow! Poor Lindsey! Yes, from everything I've heard, a kidney stone is about the worst you can have.

Lindsey
August 19th, 2005, 05:23 PM
Yeow! Poor Lindsey! Yes, from everything I've heard, a kidney stone is about the worst you can have.
The first time it happened, my impression of the intensity of the pain was that it was pretty close to the time I fractured my femur in an automobile accident. No, not the break itself--the mind has a wonderful ability to blot out the worst things, and I have no memory of that at all--but when they released it from traction about two weeks later. It quite literally took my breath away. THAT was the worst, but the kidney stone was a pretty close second. Gallstones ain't no picnic either, though.

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 19th, 2005, 05:39 PM
The first time it happened, ... It quite literally took my breath away. THAT was the worst, but the kidney stone was a pretty close second. Gallstones ain't no picnic either, though.
Nope. Stones of any kind ain't kind to the body when they're created inside. I wanted one of my gallstones to be polished into a ring. The surgeon threw them all away. I was quite annoyed...

Lindsey
August 19th, 2005, 11:48 PM
I wanted one of my gallstones to be polished into a ring.
Uhhhh--no. No. I don't want anything that came out of me made into jewelry. Not even a tooth. I guess I feel about that like you feel about blue streaks in cheese. ;)

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 19th, 2005, 11:53 PM
I'm not sure I would have worn the ring. But I sure wanted it to be able to show it to people!

RayB (France)
August 20th, 2005, 03:54 AM
I'm not sure I would have worn the ring. But I sure wanted it to be able to show it to people! I don't know

I don't know where I got this idea but I always thought that they disintegrated once in the air.

Judy G. Russell
August 20th, 2005, 10:18 AM
I never said this was practical! Just that I wanted it. (Wayne can tell us best whether they disintegrate or not. I was under the impression that the "stones" are more of a chalk-like consistency.)

Wayne Scott
August 20th, 2005, 11:34 AM
Nope. Stones of any kind ain't kind to the body when they're created inside. I wanted one of my gallstones to be polished into a ring. The surgeon threw them all away. I was quite annoyed...
Judy, if they were the typical gall stones made up of inspisated bile, they don't polish well and make rotten jewelry. Actually rotten is a good term since most will start to rot and stink in time.

Curm, M.D.

Wayne Scott
August 20th, 2005, 11:37 AM
The first time it happened, my impression of the intensity of the pain was that it was pretty close to the time I fractured my femur in an automobile accident. No, not the break itself--the mind has a wonderful ability to blot out the worst things, and I have no memory of that at all--but when they released it from traction about two weeks later. It quite literally took my breath away. THAT was the worst, but the kidney stone was a pretty close second. Gallstones ain't no picnic either, though.

--Lindsey
Lindsey: That is interesting to me. I've talked to a lot of patients with stones passing down the ureters who have said that they have never experienced pain so severe. That includes many fractures, surgical post-op and such. You are the first person I've encountered that had a pain worse than the kidney stone.
Hmmm.

Wayne

Judy G. Russell
August 20th, 2005, 12:12 PM
Well, in that case, I suppose I can probably try to forgive the surgeon. Sigh... I hate people who protect me from myself...

Jeff
August 20th, 2005, 01:35 PM
Lindsey: That is interesting to me. I've talked to a lot of patients with stones passing down the ureters who have said that they have never experienced pain so severe. That includes many fractures, surgical post-op and such. You are the first person I've encountered that had a pain worse than the kidney stone.
Hmmm.

Wayne

Can anything block that level of pain? Short of a heavy hammer to the head?

- Jeff

RayB (France)
August 20th, 2005, 04:14 PM
**You are the first person I've encountered that had a pain worse than the kidney stone.**

Hi Curm!

The worst pain I have ever experienced was Pancreatitis (sp?) I had four attacks in one year caused by stones in my gall bladder. In the mid '70s, as I am sure you know, they removed them by using a chainsaw from the left shoulder to the right side of the pelvis and went in with a shovel and an axe. All of the stitches were internal and the skin was held closed with small strips of paper tape. When I first saw it, I just knew that if I sneezed my innards would end up on all four walls and the ceiling!

They had missed one stone that was in the common duct and they decided to go down the T-tube hole and grab it with a 'basket'. They let me watch on the screen and it was quite fascinating. After some time and many near misses I was becoming quite fatigued. When he turned the screen away I should have become suspicious. The next thing I knew what that I was arched from my heels to the top of my head when he pushed it into the lower intestine. I seem to remember making a godawful mess on the table.

Ah, where have the good old days gone?

Judy G. Russell
August 20th, 2005, 06:26 PM
I had four attacks in one year caused by stones in my gall bladder. In the mid '70s, as I am sure you know, they removed them by using a chainsaw from the left shoulder to the right side of the pelvis and went in with a shovel and an axe. All of the stitches were internal and the skin was held closed with small strips of paper tape. When I first saw it, I just knew that if I sneezed my innards would end up on all four walls and the ceiling!
ROFL!! What a great description. The only difference with my gallbladder operation (much later of course... all of 1982) was that instead of paper tape they closed me up with staples. When I first saw it, it looked so very much like a zipper that I started to laugh. And you know you're not supposed to laugh after abdominal surgery...

RayB (France)
August 20th, 2005, 06:41 PM
**And you know you're not supposed to laugh after abdominal surgery...**

LOL! Yes, I know. I just thought of something else. The purpose of the T-tube was to drain off excess bile. While I was in the hospital, they used old IV bottles to collect it. When I went home they gave me a bunch of surgical gloves to use. Can you picture the end of the tube with the fingers slowly filling up with bile? It looked like a cow whose bladder was backing up! GROSS . . . . but try NOT to laugh!! In the end we bought a bunch of condoms and used those . . . . for the same purpose, I assure you!!

I was told that I would never be able to drink alcohol again. After a few months I experimented with one part Burgundy with five parts of water. After about a year, I was supporting a whole shift of bottlers at Dewars in Perth, Scotland again.

How have I ever lived to be this old???

Judy G. Russell
August 20th, 2005, 08:25 PM
I was told that I would never be able to drink alcohol again. After a few months I experimented with one part Burgundy with five parts of water. After about a year, I was supporting a whole shift of bottlers at Dewars in Perth, Scotland again.
They told me the same thing -- and also told me I wouldn't be able to eat fatty foods of any kind. About a week later I was eating a hamburger, french fries and milkshake without incident, polished off with some Bailey's. I decided my body knew a whole lot more than they did about what it could and couldn't handle!

How have I ever lived to be this old???
We're too ornery to die.

RayB (France)
August 21st, 2005, 03:55 AM
We're too ornery to die.

I'm sure you are right . . . . . Curm is living proof of that! Bless his knobbly little knees.

Judy G. Russell
August 21st, 2005, 10:25 AM
I'm sure you are right . . . . . Curm is living proof of that! Bless his knobbly little knees.
I'm going to have the chance to meet Curm, in person, shortly as he makes a flying trip through NYC. I'm looking forward to seeing his knees. Hmmm... he does wear kilts when he flies, no?

Lindsey
August 21st, 2005, 10:51 AM
You are the first person I've encountered that had a pain worse than the kidney stone.
Hmmm.
Well, pain is not something that is all that easy to quantify, and remembered pain is even trickier. But that is my memory of it.

I would imagine that the characteristics of the stone itself might bear on how painful the experience was, wouldn't it? Because my memory of the second time I experienced a kidney stone was that it wasn't quite as bad as the first. That time the doctor lined me up for both an ultrasound and an IV pyelogram. It was the ultrasound that revealed that I had some gallstones, which until then had never given me any problem. They made me drink so much water for that thing that I threw up. And I think that must have washed the stone out as well, because when I subsequently went for the pyelogram, it didn't show up. (It did show up on the ultrasound, though.)

--Lindsey

Lindsey
August 21st, 2005, 11:01 AM
I'm going to have the chance to meet Curm, in person, shortly as he makes a flying trip through NYC. I'm looking forward to seeing his knees.
If you guys are in the mood for a mini-Tapfest, let me know.

--Lindsey

Bill Hirst
August 25th, 2005, 09:10 AM
If you guys are in the mood for a mini-Tapfest, let me know.

--Lindsey

I would be, except there's a <whisper> hurricane </whisper> out there today. Maybe it will stay a tropical storm, and maybe not.
For those of you plotting at home, I'm at 26 deg 7 min 13 sec N, 80 deg 13 min 30 sec W. The center of the storm is 26.2N, 79.0 W--and it's moving almost due west. They're only predicting 70-odd mph wind, but I put my shutters up anyway.

On the other hand, Sue is finally feeling better. We got home from the hospital late last week, and did some serious sleeping. Then Sue started upchucking her antibiotic. I forget which one it is, but it tastes awful. The doc put her on an antinausea, Phenegen (if I spelled that right) and she's been keeping it down since Monday.

It all started <assume wavy lines of a flashback on your monitor> from the antibiotic she got during surgery. Her intestinal bacteria went off kilter and made her sicky-poo. Then the stuff to fix it made her even sicker. They had to culture various bodily fluids to find what worked best. Flagyl seems to do it. Her temperature came down and she's handling solid food now.

Oh yeah, somebody mentioned post-op pain. Yep, in spades. All the opiates make her nauseous too, and they were pushing morphine.

If they ever introduce a treatment plan where you stay completely unconscious until it all heals, that's the one I'm taking.

Wayne Scott
August 25th, 2005, 09:49 AM
Why do I picture you writhing on the floor, stubbornly sobbing, "I'm just fine. I like it on the floor. I'm practicing the new dance craze. Leave me alone. SHRIEK."

Judy G. Russell
August 25th, 2005, 09:55 AM
If they ever introduce a treatment plan where you stay completely unconscious until it all heals, that's the one I'm taking.
I'm with you, though I don't think I'd necessarily want to be completely unconscious during a hurricane! Hope Katrina stays a reasonably well-behaved lady or even misses you!!!

Best regards to Sue with many crossed fingers and toes for the rest of her recovery being utterly boring and uneventful.

Lindsey
August 25th, 2005, 12:44 PM
Why do I picture you writhing on the floor...
I don't know, why do you? Sadistic, maybe? :D

My father might be and my grandmothers might have been that stubborn, but I'm not. I'm just not going to go hunting up a surgeon for something that bothers me a little maybe one night in three years, especially as long as the bother can be mostly taken care of with aspirin.

--Lindsey

Lindsey
August 25th, 2005, 12:51 PM
All the opiates make her nauseous too
I have that problem, too. Morphine administered in an IV doesn't seem to bother me, but any oral medication with codeine will make me sick as a dog. When I had my wisdom teeth removed (geez, nearly 30 years ago now), I quit taking the pain medication they gave me after a couple of doses, because I figured I could handle the pain a lot better than I could handle the nausea.

I'm glad to hear that Sue is feeling better. I'm sorry it's been such a rocky road for her, and I hope it won't be too long before she is back to her old self.

--Lindsey

RayB (France)
August 25th, 2005, 01:29 PM
**If they ever introduce a treatment plan where you stay completely unconscious until it all heals, that's the one I'm taking.**

LOL! Now you're talking!! Glad to hear that Sue is on her way to recovery.

Judy G. Russell
August 25th, 2005, 03:53 PM
Lord knows, my grandfather (my mother's father) would have been that stubborn. When he was buried (in 1970) he still had oil and rocks embedded in his back from an oil derrick explosion from around 1920. And somewhere around 1962-63, he was using the tractor out in the field. A car had slipped its emergency brake and rolled over some logs, so he was trying to pull it free. The chain caught, the tractor literally reared full upright on its back wheels and he fell off. If the tractor had kept going backwards it would have killed him. As it was, it came back down and rolled back over his leg. He came out screaming that his leg was busted in five places.

We did manage to convince him he needed a doctor for that one.

Two years later.

Seriously.

The picture in the dictionary next to the word "stubborn" should be my grandfather's picture...

Bill Hirst
August 25th, 2005, 05:28 PM
I'm not that stuborn, but I'm all hunkered down waiting for the storm to pass. The eye is about 10 miles offshore, but it's pooly organized. There are wind gusts everywhere. Our lights have flickered off and on a half dozen times which makes it hard to surf the internet. Max winds are just on the edge of hurricane force, about 74 mph. Unfortunately, it looks like it's going to go directly over Fort Lauderdale.


Oh well, If you gotta have a hurricane, the next best thing to having it miss you is to have a very weak storm.

Judy G. Russell
August 25th, 2005, 09:35 PM
Oh well, If you gotta have a hurricane, the next best thing to having it miss you is to have a very weak storm.
Exactly. Or otherwise...

RayB (France)
August 28th, 2005, 04:02 AM
**I hate people who protect me from myself...**

Like this, for instance?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/27/french.fry.lawsuit.reut/index.html

Double Sigh!!

Judy G. Russell
August 28th, 2005, 09:21 AM
At least that guy is only asking for a warning as to a chemical the risks of which we can't be expected to evaluate for ourselves. The ones who infuriate me are the ones who insist on warnings like:

"Caution: For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

RayB (France)
August 28th, 2005, 09:53 AM
**"Caution: For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.**

You, of all people should why these stupidities are there in today's world. CYA!

Bill Hirst
August 28th, 2005, 10:31 AM
Exactly. Or otherwise...
As some of you may have noticed, Katrina took a sudden left turn and hit somewhat south of me. Our power was out over 48 hours, but no damage to house, humans or cats. All the food in the fridge is spoiled but that's easily fixed. Most of my neighbors lost tree limbs (and power), but the huge [and leaning] oak tree in the back yard survived easily. I spent a couple of hours Saturday trimming off a six-inch thick branch closest to the house to lessen future threats. My doctor keeps telling me to get more excercise. I don't think sawing by hand, even with a decent bow saw, was what he had in mind. Unfortunately, I don't think my ladder is tall enough to get to the next branch I'd like to trim.

Now, you guys near New Orleans get your batteries, drinking water and evacuation plans ready. She's a-coming.

Bill Hirst
August 28th, 2005, 10:37 AM
You, of all people should why these stupidities are there in today's world. CYA!

Because, despite all the warnings about carbon monoxide, at least two families around here thought they could run a gasoline-powered generator indoors.

Judy G. Russell
August 28th, 2005, 12:11 PM
despite all the warnings about carbon monoxide, at least two families around here thought they could run a gasoline-powered generator indoors.
Ouch... that hurts...

Judy G. Russell
August 28th, 2005, 12:13 PM
Katrina took a sudden left turn and hit somewhat south of me. Our power was out over 48 hours, but no damage to house, humans or cats.
WHEW!!! Glad to hear it...

Now, you guys near New Orleans get your batteries, drinking water and evacuation plans ready. She's a-coming.
Amen and again I say amen! This is a big bad nasty one...

Lindsey
August 28th, 2005, 06:23 PM
We did manage to convince him he needed a doctor for that one.

Two years later.

Seriously.
Oh, my. But I don't doubt you a bit--that story sounds familiar, just a bit more extreme than those in my own family. My father's mother was diagnosed with intestinal cancer when I was a baby. She had been subsisting for some time on Taylor's pork roll (don't ask) and hot tea, insisting, "If I can just get this down, I'll be fine." By the time she could be convinced that she wasn't fine and she needed to see a doctor, the tumor had narrowed the width of the passage through that part of her intestine to the size of a pencil.

I was her only grandchild at the time, and my mother remembers thinking what a shame it was that she would not likely live to enjoy being a grandmother. Grandma managed to outstubborn even cancer, though: she lived to see her 90th birthday (an in the process, another six grandchildren and one great-greandchild).

--Lindsey

Lindsey
August 28th, 2005, 06:32 PM
Oh well, If you gotta have a hurricane, the next best thing to having it miss you is to have a very weak storm.
Amazing, isn't it, how something that started out as barely qualifying as a hurricane has managed to build itself up into a Category 5?

Glad to see that Katrina didn't do you too terribly much damage. A couple of years ago, the eye of Isabel passed directly over Richmond. I think by the time the storm got that far, it had been downgraded to "tropical storm," but that's as bad a storm of any kind I want to have to sit through. Nobody in my family suffered any serious damage from it, thank goodness, but all around my parents' house, including the house behind them and one other house in their block, houses were badly damaged by fallen trees.

--Lindsey

Lindsey
August 28th, 2005, 06:37 PM
"Caution: For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
OMG. I don't even want to think about what internal use one might make of a curling iron. It's not a pretty picture. :eek:

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 28th, 2005, 06:39 PM
OMG. I don't even want to think about what internal use one might make of a curling iron. It's not a pretty picture. :eek:
It makes my toes curl just to consider it. :eek: :eek: :eek: indeed!

Judy G. Russell
August 28th, 2005, 06:41 PM
Grandma managed to outstubborn even cancer, though: she lived to see her 90th birthday (an in the process, another six grandchildren and one great-greandchild).
Now that is stubborn. (Unfortunately, my grandfather lost his attempt to outstubborn cancer... he was only 72. That still makes me angry when I think about it, especially since his daughter -- my mother -- died of the exact same type of cancer, at almost exactly the same age, due to the same #$%# causes.)

RayB (France)
August 29th, 2005, 03:46 AM
Because, despite all the warnings about carbon monoxide, at least two families around here thought they could run a gasoline-powered generator indoors.

OR - cook on a Hibachi in a closed van wiping out the whole family.

Judy G. Russell
August 29th, 2005, 10:12 AM
The Darwin principle in action...

Dick K
August 29th, 2005, 11:22 PM
The Darwin principle in action...Naah--it's Intelligent Design...of the hibachi.

(Reminds me of a quote I saw the other day: "If man was created according to Intelligent Design, how do you explain the existence of Pat Robertson?")

Judy G. Russell
August 29th, 2005, 11:37 PM
Naah--it's Intelligent Design...of the hibachi.
ROFL!!!! I'll buy that!

(Reminds me of a quote I saw the other day: "If man was created according to Intelligent Design, how do you explain the existence of Pat Robertson?")
Sigh... I am positive there was no Intelligent Design. She wouldn't have done such a thing...

RayB (France)
August 30th, 2005, 09:18 AM
**She wouldn't have done such a thing...**

I don't know? . . . . . . Look at the mess Katrina just made.


__________________

RayB (France)
August 30th, 2005, 09:31 AM
**(Reminds me of a quote I saw the other day: "If man was created according to Intelligent Design, how do you explain the existence of Pat Robertson?")

True!! AND Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and Howard Dean and Al Gore and . . . .

Judy G. Russell
August 30th, 2005, 10:49 AM
Look at the mess Katrina just made.
That's why I don't buy the Intelligent Design bit. And certainly no "it's the Lord's will" bit. I can't see any Omnipotent, Omniscient Being sitting up there saying, "Hmmmm... let's see... who can I wipe out with a hurricane today... eeny meeny miney... N.O.!"

Judy G. Russell
August 30th, 2005, 10:51 AM
Oooooh. Al Sharpton drives me absolutely BONKERS. I have loathed that man ever since the Tawana Brawley fiasco...

Lindsey
August 30th, 2005, 08:33 PM
Sigh... I am positive there was no Intelligent Design. She wouldn't have done such a thing...
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2

--Lindsey

Judy G. Russell
August 30th, 2005, 08:52 PM
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2

Oh ROFL!!!! That's hilarious... frightening... but hilarious.

Lindsey
August 30th, 2005, 09:00 PM
Oh ROFL!!!! That's hilarious... frightening... but hilarious.
The argument makes about as much logical sense...

--Lindsey

Bill Hirst
August 31st, 2005, 06:27 PM
If we had a Designer who loved the product so much, we should have had several recalls by now.

woodswell
August 31st, 2005, 09:09 PM
August 22, 2005
EVOLUTION, INTELLIGENT DESIGN FAIL TO EXPLAIN BUSH

Scientists in Oslo Debate Origin of President

At a conference being held this week in Oslo, Norway, over one thousand of the world's leading scientists have concluded that neither the theory of evolution nor the theory of intelligent design adequately explain President George W. Bush.

The conference, which organizers hoped would shed new light on the origin of the U.S. president, has so far led to more bafflement than insight, according to the University of Tokyo's Hiroshi Kyosuke.

"There are some here who firmly believe that the theory of evolution explains President Bush, since he shares many characteristics in common with the chimpanzee," said Mr. Kyosuke, one of the world's leading zoologists. "And yet, if you put him and a chimp side by side, it is hard to say with any confidence that Mr. Bush has evolved."

Similarly, supporters of the intelligent design theory have been frustrated in their attempts to apply that theory to President Bush, Mr. Kyosuke said.

"Most efforts to call Mr. Bush the result of intelligent design crumble to dust the moment he opens his mouth," Mr. Kyosuke said. "So we're really back to square one."

As for Mr. Bush's refusal to speak to antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan, Mr. Kyosuke said that he has developed a new theory to explain this phenomenon.

"I believe that President Bush is like 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin,'" Mr. Kyosuke said. "He's afraid to talk to a woman."

Elsewhere, in his first major policy address since announcing his candidacy for governor of New York, former Massachusetts Governor William Weld said, "On second thought, the Red Sox suck."

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

SUBSCRIBE TODAY! Free Email Updates, click the link below or paste it into your browser.
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Judy G. Russell
August 31st, 2005, 10:12 PM
I'd sure like to hand the Designer a list for recall...

Judy G. Russell
August 31st, 2005, 10:15 PM
Elsewhere, in his first major policy address since announcing his candidacy for governor of New York, former Massachusetts Governor William Weld said, "On second thought, the Red Sox suck."
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RayB (France)
September 1st, 2005, 02:33 AM
I'd sure like to hand the Designer a list for recall...

If we all did that and the recommendations were implemented I think we would end up with an empty planet. It would certainly be quieter.

Judy G. Russell
September 1st, 2005, 09:58 AM
There's a lot to be said for "quieter"...

rlohmann
September 1st, 2005, 02:51 PM
The sense of a newspaper article a day or so ago (WP or NYT, I forget which) was that Sharpton was being driven away from a Cindy Sheehan love-in near the Bush ranch when his chauffeur decided to speed things up. The result was a car chase with the local police at speeds up to 110 mph.

IIRC, the police detained the driver. Sharpton, not being the type to assume responsibility for that kind of thing, flagged down another driver and had himself driven to where he was going.

If only Jesse Jackson had been the driver, my day would have been complete.

Judy G. Russell
September 1st, 2005, 03:50 PM
I truly loathe Sharpton. There is no social redeeming value to that one whatsoever.

Dick K
September 1st, 2005, 09:19 PM
I truly loathe Sharpton. There is no social redeeming value to that one whatsoever.
Now, now. I am sure that the Rev. Al could be of service in New Orleans,...as fill to help plug the gap in a flooded levee, for example.

Judy G. Russell
September 1st, 2005, 09:34 PM
Ah. You're right, of course. In that case, he wouldn't be totally useless.